Posted: 12 Jun 2012 10:53 PM PDT
In the last quarter of the twentieth century there used to be a Mumbai-based newspaper with the title Afternoon Carrier & Despatch.
This paper used to publish interviews with politicians and publish these under the caption “Twenty Questions”.
In
1991, when I was approached for this 20-question interview, its very
first question was: “Mr. Advani, what would you identify as your
greatest weakness?
My answer was: “Books!”. I added “At a grosser level, chocolates.”
Since
then, on all special occasions like anniversaries, poll successes etc.,
visitors coming to greet me would generally keep adding books to my
personal library, or sometimes fetch me a packet or box of chocolates!
The
hawala charge was levelled against me in early 1996. So, when Lok Sabha
polls were held later that year, I did not contest. Meanwhile, I
challenged the chargesheet filed against me.
This
case went on for sixteen months in the Delhi High Court. In April 1977,
Justice Mohemmed Shamim of the Delhi High Court delivered the verdict,
quashing the charge of corruption against me.
Fortunately for me the 11th
Lok Sabha formed in 1996 did not last its full term. It was dissolved
within two years. So, when elections took place again in 1998, I
contested, and won. It was in 1970, that I had first been elected to
Parliament. Since then, it is only these two years (1996-1998) that I have not been in Parliament. It was some time during this period that Father Rodrigues gave me an inspiring book, Tough Times Do Not Last! Tough Men Do.
This
chapter opens with a reference to a widely acclaimed thriller I had
read. This book written by Jed Rubenfeld, a law professor at Yale
University is titled “The Interpretation of Murder”. However, I found the book less about a murder mystery, and more about the mystery of life.
There is no mystery to happiness, affirms the author.
“Unhappy
men are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied,
some blow to pride, some kindling spark of love put out by scorn – or
worse, indifference - cleaves to them, or they do to it, and so they
live each day within a shroud of yesterdays. The happy man does not look
back. He doesn’t look ahead. He lives in the present.
“But there’s the rub. The present can never deliver one thing: meaning.
The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a
man need only live in the present: he need only live for the moment.
But if he wants meaning - the meaning of his dreams, his secrets, his
life - a man must reinhabit the past, however dark, and live for the
future, however uncertain. Thus, nature dangles happiness and meaning
before us all, insisting only that we choose between them.”
For myself, I have chosen meaning – that’s what I have said in my book.
Meaning, I wrote, comes with purpose, with a sense of mission, whatever be one’s calling in life.
In my autobiography published in 2008 I have recorded:
“During
the course of fulfilling this duty, my devotion, sincerity and
commitment to my own cause and ideals have been tested many times,
especially when I have faced any adversity in my life. I can say, with
both humility and contentment, that I have not been found wanting in the
eyes of my own conscience. Errors of judgement, I have committed many. I
have also erred in the execution of my tasks. But I have never indulged
in scheming or acts of opportunism for self-promotion nor have I
compromised on my core principles for personal comfort or gains. I have
stood my ground for the sake of self-respect and for what I believed was
in the larger interest of the nation, even when doing so carried
obvious risks. Whether I had to spend long stints in prison, as happened
during the Emergency, or had to face a false charge of corruption in
the Hawala movement, or when I was misunderstood and castigated for
having betrayed my ideology after my visit to Pakistan, I have followed
the call of my conscience and stood firm. Besides fortifying my
self-belief, it has given me happiness and imparted meaning to my life.”
The novel that had provoked the above thoughts in me claimed that a man can either have meaning or happiness in life.
I have had the good fortune of experiencing both, and in abundance.
L.K. Advani
New Delhi